Life of Matt

This is the Fourth Article in “Things You Don’t Talk About at the Dinner Table“, A series about how to create an environment of trust an openness, Where Anything Can Be Discussed.

In the entrepreneurship program at my school, it seems I run into a new student entrepreneur every day.  These are people that I definitely want to know.  In addition to being great contacts to have in the future, they’re exactly the type of action oriented high achiever types that I love to talk to.  I’ve tested out a dozen different conversation starters and icebreakers to meet them, but only one have I found to consistently work:

“I checked out your website, it was really cool”

Perhaps the most important part of developing a climate of trust, even more important than how you interact with someone, is your relationship with them.  I’ve found very few rules that consistently work for developing relationships, but I have found a few, and one that I have found more useful than any other in creating relationships.  The rule is this:

Develop a Sincere Interest in Other People.

It’s simple, but highly effective.  Like I alluded to above, one of the best conversation starters is to mention something about the other person that you find interesting.  In the example above, I was interested in what they were doing.  However, there will be circumstances where you’ll simply have different interests than the other person.  The question remains, how do you become interested in people you have nothing in common with?

4 Ways to Become Interested in People You Have Nothing in Common With

So if you can’t be interested in what someone else is doing, how can you be interested in them?  The trick is to find some aspect of their interest that’s interesting to you.  This allows you to connect with people that you have absolutely nothing in common with.

1.Be Interested in Their Passion

When I was in elementary school, I knew a guy who’s life ambition was to be a truckdriver.  I wasn’t really interested in driving trucks myself, but his passion was something I could definitely connect with.  You can use the same tactic, to connect with someone on any topic they’re passionate about.

2.Be Interested in Their Process

I have a friend who paints.  Now, I’m not really much of an art enthusiast.  I don’t care much for paintings, they’re just not interesting to me.  However, what I do find fascinating about my friend is her process, how she comes up with ideas, begins to paint, visualizes the result beforehand, etc.  By becoming interested in her process, I can find out more about her interests, even if they’re not the same as mine.

3.Be Interested in Their Interest

I’ve never liked history.  I never saw any practical application for it, and the rote memorization of dates wass just never my thing.  However, I have a number of friends who are super interested in history.  I’ve had several conversations with them about history, and instead of falling asleep, I’ve always been super engaged.  The reason is that trying to figure out how and why they like history is interesting to me.  How can they like something which to me seems so obviously boring?  This interest in HOW they’re interested allows you to connect on topics which you would normally be bored to tears by.

4.Be Interested in Them

My sister is out in LA right now making movies.   Now, I do find the process of making movies interesting, but it’s not normally something I would choose to spend my time discussing or finding out about.  However, when I’m talking with my sister, I find it the most fascinating thing in the world.  Why? Because it’s her that’s making the movies.  If you find the person interesting, then be interested in what they’re doing simply because they’re doing it.

Using these techniques, you can begin to create rock solid relationships, even with people you have nothing in common with.  Use them wisely.

Click Here to Read the Rest of this Series.